Atonement?

This book ends with no one receiving atonement. Briony tries but because of the circumstances (the war and isolation) she never fully rights her wrong. The Marshall's try to make amends (we infer this from the novel), by donating money to various charities and such, but that is not enough for what Lola did and never will anything be enough for what Paul did. Lola lied and let Briony do her dirty work and Paul was a pig and the catalyst for the inevitable demise of a love desired. Everyone, even I, blame Briony (usually forgetting it is really Paul Marshall who should be blamed) but I do have some sympathy for her. She was young and foolish and sought adventure. Most kids lie and don't end up ruining people's lives and she just didn't understand the extent of what she was doing and how it would affect those involved. She did not get her atonement (it was too late- Robbie was dead and her and Cecelia never reconnected before she died), but she did try to give the couple a somewhat happy ending, no matter how false it was. This totally contradicts what I previously stated, but I think Briony slowly dying and losing her mind (and therefore her writing ability), is a kind of atonement. Kind of like Karma or payback for what she did.

Free Write- My Rant

Personally, I'm ready for some relief from the constant struggle, strife, and reality they we keep constantly reading about. Where is my happy ending, or even happy story. I'm sorry if I don't want to submerge myself into another book that "means" something but makes me cry, yell, scream, think, etc! I want the princess to end up with the prince or at least not end up in an asylum. I'm also looking for a girl, not a sociopath, who is strong and reliant and not pathetic. Is that too much to ask?

It's not that I haven't enjoyed (enjoyed might be an exaggeration) reading these books. I've learned so much from them, they just are completely different from my normal reading- and believe me, I DO READ. I am a strict believer in the beauty of fiction (mostly romance and magic). I like to escape when I read and maybe I do live vicariously through the characters of my books, but at least it's safer. No heartbreak and no death, just adventure and the thrill of the unknown with the inevitable happy ending I seek.

I know fiction and "Happily Ever After" is unrealistic, but that's its beauty. The hope of what could be with a fulfilling immediate relief. Reading is every one's way of achieving any dream they can imagine... you get to be any character from any book and live their story.

This is my rant- this is my wish. Give me an happy ending or give me death!!!! (hahaha)

Coherence?

This was a difficult topic for me to wrap my head around... I didn't really know where to start or what to say. Probably, because I don't think the way Barthelme did (but then again, neither does most of the world). He writes in a stream of consciousness that I just don't follow, though that could be the point. Two songs specifically come to mind when I think about incoherence and randomness. The Beatles' "I am the Walrus" and "Helter Skelter." I love these two songs, though I don't understand what they mean or what they're about. They just flow over words and phrases and little riffs and they make no sense. Yet they are classic works of art and I escape when I hear them.

~Maybe escape is part of it, maybe escaping reality whether through drugs or music made on drugs is its reasoning. What is reason? Why is it so important? It's so bright in here, I should turn off the overhead light... I can't focus and I don't know what to say or why I have to say anything. Econ is stupid...I like listening to Daniel, but not reading this stuff especially when I know I have a test. I'm dreading October 8, 2008. Eight oh Eight...hmmm. I still haven't finished that stupid 342 assignment either. That class and 201; what a waste of my life and time. Time is so important and there are only 24 hours in a day...no matter how much money you have you can't buy time. What could you buy? Life is all about choices and reasoning...what is the reason/ meaning of life? Love...~
`

This is the best I can do...I love being random but this is so hard it's not random, but forced. It takes an amazing author to write the way he wrote... You don't have to understand, you just have to listen and appreciate...escape. This was my attempt at a "acid tripping" writing...my conflict is between what I should do and what I want to do and trying to do both.

I attached those two songs...maybe people will enjoy them more that Barthelme's work...though both the author and song writers were obviously on something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqOKvonLrH8
"I am the Walrus"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM9KRpEkGfY&feature=related
"Helter Skelter"